Letter updating social worker of my life and case plan. 11 mo in system

August 5, 2009

Tracey Sprague
2690 country club dr. Apt #18
Cameron Park, Ca 95682




To: Ann Spur; Patty Romano
Child Protective Services

CC: Barbara Newman
Court appt. Attorney for Chloe

From: Tracey Sprague



RE: Update on activities for the last week of July.

RE: RE: Since the initial typing of this letter on August 5th, many things have taken place. I have continued to edit, and apologize about the length of the letter, but I now I'm convinced that I must help you, to help us, by making sure that no document is left out or behind; and most important, that EVERY PIECE of evidence we submit to CPS, our attorney's and the Court, is True, correct and on The Record!!

MODIFICATIONS AND FALSIFICATIONS OF DOCUMENTS WILL STOP HERE, AND THEY WILL STOP NOW!!



Dear Ann, Patty

If you have had the opportunity to review my case file, you will have seen my 2 letters to Susan Carey. The last letter was dated July 22, which shows consisteny and compliance with my case plan. Susan called the next day, July 23, saying she talked with her supervisor about overnight visitation and that we were to be granted one night per week since it was Chloe’s birthday in a few days. I was pleasantly surprised that you granted the overnight, since Ms. Newman has always controlled visitation in the past and been quite strict about it, however I was told to accedpt this because she has had difficult clients in the past who lied about their drug use and did not want this to happen again, according to Susan. It shocks me to even type fact that Chloe and I have only had two overnight visits in 10 ½ months. So, I thank you again for allowing this to happen. I guess my frustration and some confusion comes from early on in these proceedings, as to why the tone and subsequently the blame that was once with Larry Nelson, who was the True abuser, quickly shifted and became my burden. I posess 2 degrees, boarded nationally as well as for the state of California for Veterinary Nursing, and have more than 20 certifications for instructing in the Fitness Industry, and Schools, Elementary through College. My students range from children, through grandparents, depending on the dicipline. It is a travesty that my passion and years of training and education have now been stripped from me because I can no longer work anywhere that places me in the presence of children due to my name being placed on the Child Abuse Index; Black listed for 10 years. Unfortunately, my name was placed on this list when these so called charges were only allegations, which quickly became substantiated. If you look back to the jurasdiction hearing, I submitted a declaration/affidavit that challenged these allegations; sadly, this is where my crash course in family law showed me that the "truth, due process and the Constitution" mean absolutely nothing, and will infact continue while it is shrowded in secrecy.
Ms. Newman has regularly expressed concern regarding my consistency in following the case plan, my alleged and illicit drug use, and Chloe’s safety in my presence. The dangling of visitations, promising them and withdrawing them at the last minute, has been devastating for both Chloe and me. I firmly believe that if Ms. Newman had maintained closer contact with Chloe and me and with Susan Carey,our social worker, and if CPS's communications had been better all around, Ms. Newman’s concerns would have been alleviated and we would be closer to permanent re-unification. Throughout chloe's 13 years, there has never been any abuse of any kind, no illicit drug use as everyone wants to believe, or any other damaging situations, however my parenting skills from chloes birth til now continue to be distorted and or minimized. It is devestating as you can imagine to be told time and time again that you have failed as a parent and as I work harder, I am punished , and have more restrictions placed on me. When I question and confront the injustices, the retaliation is swift...and painful.
My spirits have been low for months, but I press on

To be fair, Susan Carey is not the only social worker who has failed to adequately communicate with us. And, Susan has been very approachable and empathetic; unfortunately that lasted for only a couple of weeks. The amount of time spent with us, however, has not been sufficient for Susan Carey or Diane from CASA, to really understand the situation. They continue to believe that my family and I minimize the situation and are in complete denial. If you will remember only a short time ago, May 22, there was a report submitted by my domestic violence counselor, which stated in black and white, that I in fact realize that we were in an unhealthy situation, I was the parent and that I understood my role and what got me to that point, however, I have NEVER been in denial. She would also be happy to support me in court showing that this in fact is the case. I have personally met with diane Once, in 10 months and had a phone conversation with her for about 5 min. I will however, discuss Diane Deslauriers CASA report in my next letter. It troubles me that what is stated in her report and what she has told every member of our family, time and time again, is in sharp contrast. If this is in the best interest of my daughter, I have grave concerns. This is only one of the reasons why chloe is reluctant to speak to anyone. I have pled with the court, my social worker, chloe's attorney and CASA to please listen to chloe, hear her voice, what "SHE" truely wants or if she has any concerns or questions. Unfortunately, Chloes letters and phone calls would go unanswerd, so the one who is most important in this case, becomes lost in the shuffle.
Ms. Newman seems to be only availible 5 to 10 minutes before each hearing, when chloe has had concerns and questions weeks before court. I will cite an example, when Ms Newman did call to speak to chloe on the phone. Ms Newman began to ask chloe about my case plan, classes, drug testing etc. only because susan carey had not yet sent a report to Ms Newman. This put chloe in an uncomfortable situation, and whats more, she does not know specifics, so any information given to Ms. Newman by chloe, more than likely would have been not fully complete or correct. This could have been a huge set back and very damaging.
On a number of occasions Susan visited Chloe for only a few minutes on the very last day of the month, to meet her requirement to see Chloe that month. I remind you, the length of these meetings were no longer than 10 min, and this is sufficient enough time to cover a month? This is not meant as a criticism, because Susan was obviously overwhelmed by her caseload and had little time to spend with us. But, lack of quality time spent with chloe and the family, by the people working in chloe's best interest, did adversely impact Susan’s management of the case plan, as well as add road blocks to a timely re-unification, in my opinion.
Chloe's social worker, attorney and CASA person are required to meet with chloe at least once a month. More than not, these required visits never happen or are brief and hurried. My concern is that these meetings by the social worker are sporatic, and last roughly 15 minutes. The fact that Chloe's counsel has only had 2 face to face meetings in 11 months and usually the focus of their talks seems to be Ms Newman's concerns for chloe's mother and her illicit drug use and not being able to protect my daughter. (Refer to T. Spragues drug testing log as well as case plan and positive reports from my counselors, directly) Not through Ms Deslauries interpretation of my work.
Susan Carey has occasionally told me that our case has proved to be difficult because we do not fit into a particular category, IE: Drug and or Child abuser, however, susan carey and more importantly, chloe's counsel, have done little to nothing to investigate chloe's needs and emotional health beyond the scope of these proceedings.
As chloe's mother and the one who seeks chloe's best interest, the above subject matter gives me grave concerns. Therefore, the documents submitted to the judge, necessary for making a sensible, informed decision, are not a true and accurate representation, because they are not based on face to face meetings with either chloe or myself. On more than one occasion a report was submitted from one of my counselors in favor of my progress, however, was never admitted into evidence at the disposition and interem hearings.
The ability of the dependency court Judge to render a sensible and informed decision is contingent upon the documentation provided by the counselors , therapists and CASA, as well as effective and competent counsel.. More importantly, the competent counsel should also prove to be meaningful. by diligently working in the childs best interest and recognizing if the childs needs are being met. In the real world, both my attorney and child's counsel would have open lines of communication and working to gether for the common goal of re-unificaton. I am left feeling perplexed by the almost advasarial tone of these proceedings (us against them)
The following case plan has kept me busy traveling back and forth from home, work, Placerville , Diamond Springs, and back again. I’ve not kept track of all the miles and the hours, but this is just a recent schedule of my activities.

July 20, 5:00 PM to 7:00 PM: Violence Free Relationships class at the Center of Women
July 21: random drug test at EDCA, (all tests negative to date)
July 21 evening: High Flyers AA meeting
July 22, 8:00 AM to 9:00 AM: drove to Diamond Springs for individual therapy

July 22, 10:00 AM to 11:30 AM: Took Chloe to register at Ponderosa. We still do not know what attendance area Chloe will be living in, but optimistically we enrolled her at Ponderosa, assuming that she will live with me when school starts. Chloe really wants to attend Ponderosa, and I think she will thrive there.

July 22, 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM: drove back up to Diamond Springs to take Chloe to her therapy session, then returned home.

July 22, 4:00 PM to 5:00 PM. I drove back to Diamond Springs for Joint Therapy Session with Chloe for the third trip to Diamond Springs that day.



July 23: random drug test at EDCA



July 27: random drug test (arrived at 4:50 PM, but was turned away, closing time is 5:00.

I was running errands in Sacramento all day and heavy traffic made me late. I was devastated, and the amount of stress I had was counter productive... I know Im clean, but when turned away, the test shows that Im dirty...this is what the judge sees, with no explanation of Why. Is there a reason my social worker won't help me out and state on her report that I was late due to other case plan responsibilities, and not infact dirty from using drugs?
If I were a betting lady, I would say that this is a setup for my failure.

July 28: random drug test. I came in the next morning, tested negative as always.
July 30: random drug test. For the first time in months the amount of urine was very low. I felt like I was getting a bladder infection, but thought there was still enough to get a temperature and a reading on all substances. I offered to stay and try again if there was a problem. They assured me that everything was good and that I could go.
Following all of the Plan requirements, attending the various counseling sessions, the personal soul searching, the lack of positive reinforcement from CPS, the time pressures, all have caused anxiety, but all of it together has not been as bad as separation from my daughter. Much of Chloe’s life has been just her and me against the world, and the bond we share is one in which I believe are closer than most, which is why this separation is worse that the loss of a leg or arm; I am lost and sorrow consumes my whole day. Chloe has remained strong through all this; a testament to her mature well-balanced outlook – and yes, her upbringing. If my parenting skills were poor, we would see an unhappy, neurotic, maladjusted kid with poor self image who more than likely would be a discipline problem. Instead Chloe is a daughter any mother would be proud of, and I am especially proud of her.
I remain motivated to keep to the Plan and be strong for Chloe so that we can be reunited sooner rather than later. That is our whole goal, to get our lives back and be together again.. This brings up the joint therapy sessions that Chloe and I have had, and will be brutally honest about. To my suprise, at the end of our last joint therapy, chloe said she would like to put an end to these sessions. She also said that she was "done" "with her individual therapy sessions as well. I actually encouraged her to continue her individual, but she said that both katie and her decided that she has gotten as much as she can out of what Ms. Vanoord could offer. Ms Van noord agreed, and told chloe that she would have an exit interview in a couple of weeks As of August 7th, Ms Newman made it very clear that continued therapy would be mandatory, and even called chloe the day before our hearing and said if she does not go to therapy, she will not see her mother. I will now use Ms Newmans phrase, "I have concerns" with my daughters counsel and the fact that she calls to give her an ultimatum, using me as the pawn. With permission, if we could possibly seek another therapist that will carry chloe a little farther, we would both be in favor of that . I believe her first year in highschool will be very consuming and with added therapy, individual and joint, this will undoubtably place a heavy burden on chloe. It is not "just an hour" it is an full hour of driving time with an hour of therapy, twice in one day..that is a total of 4 hours that cuts right into homework and family time; both of which I believe are very important. I am personally prepared to continue my individual sessions, as required.


Chloe and I both feel that the individual therapy sessions have been helpful. Chloe’s therapist, Ms. Van Noord, has repeatedly told Chloe and my mother what a strong, resilient young woman Chloe is and she has given her some valuable life skill tools for the future. My individual sessions have also been very helpful in making me aware of past choices and how to successfully evaluate future ones. The five joint sessions however, have proved to be less helpful for both Chloe and me. Briefly, we thought the sessions were meant for Chloe and I to honestly and openly share our feelings regarding many issues. Instead, what has taken place at these sessions has been a constant assault of my parenting skills and my lack of care and protection I showed for Chloe, which could not be further from the truth. I was rarely allowed to speak in these sessions, and as Chloe has stated to me and my mother, that she feels the way I was treated was similar to the way my ex-husband verbally abused me. I have readily admitted and apologized to my daughter for the circumstances that lead to our current situation, even before we were brought before the court.. I feel, however, that after leaving the joint sessions every time with a complete lack of self worth and just shattered for the rest of the day, was counter productive for both chloe and I. In five out of six sessions, we have yet to address moving forward using the tools we have learned,moving towards re-unification. Again, chloe is a witness to verbal assults on her mother, in a safe place, with people she is suppose to trust.
. Chloe and I will live with this situation for years to come and thankfully we have a strong, open relationship that allow us to discuss these issues freely.



Chloe has been encouraged by therapists, CPS workers and even her CASA volunteer to share her most personal thoughts and feelings. As with anyone, establishing trust is a risk, but when the trust is kept, the bond and benefits grow. Almost everytime she has taken the risk to trust, that trust has been betrayed. I am not a therapist, but the conditioning of my daughter in such a manner , as she gets older, could cause a far more "dangerous situation" than what led to the separation of this family in the first place. I am witness to what was once a trusting young girl, to a more guarded, even cynical person. 'So, yes , she is on guard with the aforementioned persons that are suppose to be helping her.
So, as her mother, and the one who is looking out for her best interest, I respectfully ask the court and all involved parties, for chloe and I to be excused from "this" family therapy and possibly seek another non biast, family therapist. Remember, we are both in favor of therapy that is beneficial for both of us.

******* On a side note, I counted over 60 errors in the original Disposition Report from November 21, 2008. Some were serious, others not, but I was so overwhelmed at the time that I did not challenge the misstatements. For example, they had me as the abuser in one instance, and confused the identity of Chloe’s step-father and actual father. I accept responsibility for problems I have caused, but this misinformation makes a bad situation appear even worse. Unfortunately for me at that time, I was unaware of the court process and more importantly, my rights, so the unchallenged allegations quickly became substantiated.
If you will remember, at the Jurasdiction hearing, I submitted to all parties, a declaration/affidavit, challenging these allegations, only to be read silently by the judge as we watched, and never heard of again.


I am still waiting for a response about the cessation of chloe's Medi Cal, as is Chloe's Father.
If you will remember, she is 100% covered by her fathers insurance and a secondary insurance with Tri_Care only makes for more confusion.

*****As of todays date, August 13, there have been some positive talks with my therapist regarding chloe coming back and trying again with her therapist...We have decided to do something like alternating family and individual on a weekly basis..we were both doing two sessions in one day which was extremely exhausting. I would only ask politely, that if the people who require this therapy to be mandatory to please rather than just reading the report, and for the best interest of both chloe and I, please ask if we are doing ok and feel that we are benefitting from these sessions.

I will be addressing the scathing report submitted by Diane Deslauries (CASA) and will infact fiercly challenge all but a small portion of this report. This was not only an assult on myself, but a personal attack on My mother and Harry Norris, both of whom are upstanding members and buisness owners of this county for over 30 years.

CASA;.......THE FIERCE ADVOCATE...TO THE RESCUE!!
SADLY, As I watched CASA pull off the "Rubber Mask" and show its True Authentic Self...I realized that the fight for a "Voice" and " Advocacy" was only for the DARK CLOAK AND GAVEL.

My daughter? Once again, I'm left trying to explain why they promise something and deliver the opposite. What an education!!



If you took the time to read this....
Thank you